Swim Team, what was I thinking?

This year I gave Luke the option to choose what sport he wanted to do. We narrowed down the choices to soccer, baseball, and swim team. Luke, is a great swimmer, in fact he started swimming before he could walk. He loved it, it felt comfortable to him, it was the obvious choice. I should have known, he is the type of kid who does not like change, routines are a must! Whereas Will could wake up each day and do something totally different from the day before and repeat that pattern, forever!

Swim Team, Week One!

It was cold a cloudy day. Not a good combination for swimming. Then if you throw in a pool that is not heated with little boy on his first day of swim team, we have a disaster, a total meltdown. I don’t blame the guy, I would have cried too. He came out of the water crying with bright purple lips. The next day I took the advice of a parent and made him some hot chocolate for afterwards, did that work? No! It was good advice though. By the third day, Luke had decided that he did not like swim team, it was too cold, and the coaches were not nice. I had to agree with him, but quietly, I could not tell him I did not care for the coaches all that much either. I’m no expert by any means, but the coaches did not introduce themselves to the kids on the first day, and did not tell the parents what to expect, or explain to the new kids what to do. They just expected them to hop right in and go! This is all fine and dandy for a kiddo that has been in swim team before, but my little guy was four, and he had no clue what was going on. One of the first things that kids do when they do not know what is going on is…..get scared. My son fit the bill and that is just what he did. Now I know what you are thinking, he was just too young, and you would be exactly right.

Swim Team, Week Two!

By the second week he really hated it with a passion. If you have to bribe your kid with prizes at Target to go to swim team, then it might not be the right thing for them. Then Luke saw the coach pull, no yank a kid off the wall because he was taking a break. He was tired, crying, not to mention a six year old little boy. I wanted to get him out, greet him with a hug, and a nice warm towel. Luke’s big round eyes started to look very concerned, because he was next. He decided that he felt more comfortable out of the water for the rest of that practice. Again, I don’t blame him. He also made a mental note to never trust that particular coach again. The next day he was very hesitant to get in the water, but with a lot of encouragement, by me, he got in. He swam great. I was cheering him on. He made it all the way across the pool. I was so proud of him. Notice I said, I. None of the coaches said one word, what the hell. This was their chance to get him, help him, do their job, but nothing. This was the moment my husband and I decided this was a complete waste of time, and we were going to pull him out. We did not tell Luke yet, we made him finish out the week. He hated it, and so did we. It was my fault, four years old is way too young for swim team. Even if Luke would have totally loved swim team, it was simply too much, I don’t care if he is the future Michael Phelps. Practice every day, meets all day, and I mean all day Saturday, and a head coach who did not seem to want to help a new kid come to enjoy a new sport is not for four year old little boys. Any parent who would make their four do this would be doing them a disservice, and I know that now because I was almost one of them. But, I am a firm believer of finishing something when you start, even if it’s hard and all you want to do is quit. I did learn that there is an exception to every rule (well, I actually already knew that) and this situation was definitely the exception. I do not want my son to grow up and think it is okay to just up and quit when things are hard or they just are not going your way. Nothing irritates me more than being flaky, and I want him to know when he says he is going to do something then, he does it, no exceptions! But, wait; there are exceptions, this is where it gets tricky. We have to teach them this, but how?

My best guess is experience. For example, if you tell your friend you are coming to their birthday party, you go. You don’t cancel on them because you have something better to do, like go swimming. Luke knows that (yes this happened to him). If you are really sick, you call your friend and you tell them. Then you make a special effort to go see them once you are better. Luke knows this too! (yes, this also happened.) These were easy examples; so many other situations are so much harder for him to understand, like quitting swim team. Then there will much harder and more adult-like situations that will come his way. My fear is that he will look back on this experience and think, it was okay to quit then, so it is okay to quit this too. Hopefully before this happens he will have a lot of experience under his belt, and he will make the right decision, until then I am here to help.

For now instead of swim team we did what every four year old should be doing, by going and playing at the pool a few times a week and taking a lesson or two. Let me tell you he is a better swimmer than ever! Then there is the important part, he loves it!

As for next year, I am choosing his sport.