Monday, January 11, 2010

Can Working Be a Break?

As a stay at home mom I am always running around, usually in twenty different directions. It is not very often that I get to stand still. Sometimes I feel like I am in the middle of a merry go round and the world is spinning around me. Most of my days are spent being a bottom wiping, diaper washing, toddler chasing, clothes folding, floor moping, toy cleaning, errand running, question answering, fight stopping; mother. Among other things.

If you read my blog often you may have noticed a lack of entries. No, I did not fall off the face of the earth, and no, I have not done anything crazy like get a job, wait, that is exactly what I did. You may be thinking at about this time, is she insane? On top of being a stay at home mom, tutoring part time, teaching a cooking class once a month, and being a professional maid, cook, teacher and let’s not forget wife too, I have decided to get a job for the holidays. Crazy is what you are thinking right now, yes? Well, that is what my husband said when I told him about my marvelous plan that was not going to change a thing, I promise. Clothes would still be washed, dinner would still be ready, and our boys will still be cared for in the same upmost diligent fashion as they were before. Nothing will change, and guess what; we will have extra money for Christmas at the same time. It’s a win/win situation, right? If wrong is what you are thinking, then you are right, and I was ever so inconceivably wrong. You may be wondering where did she ever decide to get this great job that was not going to change a thing, well, that was my first mistake, Pottery Barn.

Now I love Pottery Barn just as much as the next guy, okay, I probably love it more. But, all that extra money I was supposed to make, yeah, well, it is now being held hostage at Pottery Barn in exchange for all their amazing stuff that I just had to have. One upside, our house is looking much like page 12 of the new catalog. Which is nice, but I have to ask myself, is it worth all this trouble? Finding a babysitter four nights a week because I am often scheduled to start work before my husband can get home, not getting to put my kids to bed all those nights, being gone for what it felt like the entire week of Christmas, and let’s not forget all the other things I still needed to get done, because I said things were not going to change. Why did I have to say that? But, there is one more upside; once I got to work it felt more like a break than a job. Things were running at a slower pace. Everyone around me had a smile, and no one cried. I got to spend a few hours not chasing after a screaming toddler that insisted on wearing his Spiderman costume while he went to the bathroom, and then gets mad when I have to take it off and wash it because well, you get the picture, or spending my time constantly answering all the questions that my four year old throws my way. Don’t get me wrong I love that he asks questions, and I want him to go right on doing it, but every waking moment can be challenging at times. But, for the brief period of time that I was at work I felt like I was on a break, and better yet, I was getting paid.

Then I got off, had to leave and go back to work, I mean home. Once I got home that slower pace that I was on was multiplied times a thousand. The boys are screaming, house is a mess, and the husband did not look happy. I wonder if this is how he feels when he gets home from work? It is after 9, I get started on all the chores, put the kids to bed if they are not there already, eat dinner and get things ready for the next day, because my oldest son will be up at the crack of dawn. I finally lay down and fall asleep around 1 or 2am. This is not what I signed up for, and yes, things have defiantly changed. I am not super woman, and dinner is not on the table every night, and at times laundry is piled up as high as me, and the floors have not been mopped since I don’t know when. But, I made a commitment and I have to stick with it. I have three weeks left to go. Will I make it? Stay tuned….


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